Reflections on Success

What is the recipe for success in life?

I have been meditating and reflecting on this question for decades…maybe even my entire life!

As I approach my 46th year on Earth, I have come to understand a few ingredients in the recipe of success. There are many. Today I will share 3 of them:

*Know What You Desire

Knowledge has organizing power in it. You must take the time to uncover your desires. What we desire changes as we live our years. Desire fuels us. Inherent in desire are the mechanics for its fulfillment.

Here’s some of my desire “history” and “results”:

In my 20’s I desired a challenging and fulfilling corporate job with a side gig in wellness I could eventually make full-time after marriage and kids. What I got: Marriage then divorce, no kids, and made my side gig full time!

In my 30’s I desired building a solid wellness business, exploring consciousness and what it really means “to awaken”, healing from my dad’s death and divorce, and learning as much as possible about relationships. There was much healing to be done in all areas of my life, including family. What I got: All of it and then some!

In my early 40’s I desired having more fun, taking a 9 month sabbatical, continuing my personal and professional training and development, writing a book, getting clarity on having a family “of my own”, building deeper connections with mom and sis, finding epic love. What I got: Almost all of it. After a few experiments in fertility, etc I decided a family of my own wasn’t an option. What I also got was re-married to an amazing man with 2 beautiful, kind, loving, and (now) adult children.

Now approaching my mid 40’s I desire creating a beautiful, peaceful home in a beach community I adore here in NY, expanding my community of family, friends, and business partners, writing another book, creating a global platform for people to awaken, heal, and create the life they desire, leading a fabulous joy-filled retreat, continuing to enjoy the heck out of life, and reflecting on the legacy I wish to leave behind.

I share this to inspire you! Life happens along the way. There was more change, loss, death, etc that I didn’t include here. I focus on creation and what’s next.

*Decide You Will Be Successful

After you are clear on your desires (even one desire is fine to start with!), you must decide you will be successful. Your decision is a declaration. When you declare you will be successful you are training your mind to see opportunity. Declaration before manifestation…

Know this. You will face obstacles. You will face fear. You will face criticism. You will make mistakes. You will doubt yourself, at times. You will have to make hard choices. You will want to quit. You will experience the full range of human emotion from joy and love to fear and heart break. You will experience dark and light, happy days and sad days…the paradox of life. Accept this in the same way you welcome and accept all the wonderful experiences you will encounter.

My father died 3 weeks before my first marriage in 2004. It was unexpected. Massive heart attack, dead instantly. It was heart breaking. We married anyway and did our best. Eventually we divorced. My father’s excruciating and untimely passing (as I share in my book Reclaiming Joy) has been a huge catalyst in living life with authenticity and not wasting time. His death pushed me to awaken and changed the course of my life in a positive way. Would I want more time with him? Of course! I didn’t get it. What I did get was a bunch of other amazing experiences that were fueled by my decision to be successful at LIFE.

When you decide to be successful, you learn acceptance, humility, gratitude, vigor, focus, discipline, commitment, and the power of surrounding yourself with inspiring, positive mind feed, people and situations.

*Let Go of “HOW”

As you journey along the road to success, uncovering desires, hidden parts of yourself, new ways of being, etc you must release the paralysis that comes from having to know “HOW”. Having to know how is also rooted in illusion of perfection. Perfection is a dream killer! Focus on excellence instead.

With all the twists and turns I have experienced in my life, what has served me best is coming back to my desires & intention for the life I wish to live: peaceful, prospering, connected.

Do I make choices and take action toward these desires? Yes, of course. In the past, the choice to be prosperous meant focusing on building a solid career to learn, grow, and network. Today, my choice to be prosperous means focusing on people and situations that are positive, expansive, generative, and fun.

Be warned: letting go of “how” goes against most of what we are taught, and certainly is in opposition to our ego. Letting go of how kicks up fear and control issues. No worries. You can do this. I did. It’s uncomfortable, painful at times. You will survive! I don’t know that the discomfort gets easier to manage. We are wired for pleasure, all the time! Perhaps it’s that you get “stronger” and less afraid.

One of the tools I use ( And I have many: yoga/meditation/energy healing/coaching) is when I notice myself getting stuck in the “how”, I come back to my desire & intention and ask for guidance. Then I take whatever small action I can right then and there and let the rest go. The “how” always reveals itself. Maybe not as fast I want, or it doesn’t look they way I had thought. However, when the “how” is revealed, it’s always the exact person/thing/situation/action I desired/ intended. Magic. Yes and No! Both.

That’s what I got for now. I hope you find this inspiring. If you want support, reach out. I love working with motivated people who are ready to take ownership and create the life they desire.

Thanks for reading. Namaste.

Stephanie